Image from Bernd Helfert |
by Rubberduck (2008)
POWER ON
starting critical systems a-c... d-f... g-i... j-l...
critical systems functioning.
flushing database...
flush complete.
boot activeted.
calibrating time
...
Mission Time: 0:000:00:00:00:000
uploading primary AI protocols...
uploading secondary AI protocols...
uploading tertiary AI protocols...
upload complete
AI Armstrong-12 now in control of all systems
Mission Time: 0:000:00:01:08:285
uploading basic aid programs... ... ...
uploading mission manifest...
----
MISSION MANIFEST
PROJECT PHOENIX
THE STARSHIP SAVIOR , UNDER GUIDANCE BY A GENERATION 4 AI 53 a.n. sanctified by the commision 54 a.n. after receiting the new bible flawlessly. put on ice same year>, WILL TRANSFER 200.000 CRYOFROZEN CITIZENS OF THE ENLIGHTENED TRANS-CHRISTIAN-ISLAMIC COMMUNITY TO THE PLANET NEW EDEN ORBITING JN-435 . ONCE NEW EDEN HAS BEEN REACHED THE COLONISTS WILL BE AWAKENED SO THAT THE ENLIGHTENED TRANS-CHRISTIAN-ISLAMIC COMMUNITY CAN LIVE ON, IF IT SHOULD HAVE FAILED HERE.
----
data packet received...
AI Armstrong-12 designated third in command on Starship Savior.
Cardinal Joseph Farway designated second in command on Starship
Savior.
Cardinal Jacob Ryeson designated commanding officer on Starship
Savior.
Mission Time: 0:000:00:01:12:593
Starting ship's secondary power systems...
Fusionplant 1...
Fusionplant 2...
Fusionplant 3...
etcic-eng-comp3401b requesting progress report. progress report dispatched. end subroutine> Fusionplant 4...
Fusion powerplants online
checking power circuitry...
153.005.415 circuits functioning
3 circuits shows leakage
1 circuit failure
conclusion: power systems functioning at optimal efficiency
Mission Time: 0:000:02:23:56:857
sending status report to command central...
standby......
Mission Time: 0:000:05:01:12:475
datapacket received...
preparing for boarding...
14 persons... 3 designated VIP... 1 VIP is commanding officer
beginning procedure for boarding...
upload visitor plan...
analyse...
visitors will visit compartment 554, 556, 560, 990 through 994 and 1010
start atmosphere processors in compartments 554 through 560, 836,
976 and 990 though 1010. start thermostats in compartments 554 through 560, 836, 976 and 990 though 1010. turn on lights in compartments 554 through 560, 836, 976 and 990 though 1010. ...
Mission Time: 0:000:05:03:25:407
pressure compartments 554 through 560, 836, 976 and 990 though 1010: 101.325 kPa
temperature compartments 554 through 560, 836, 976 and 990 though 1010: 300K
Notice: anomaly found in compartment 558. Pressure: 5 kPa.
Temperature: 6 K.
Analysis: puncture in wall 3056 at point 1850274:4024032.
Formulating solution...
solution found, initiating...
shut off atmosphere processors in compartment 558...
shut off thermostat in compartment 558...
shut off lights in compartment 558...
dispatch repair bots 556-a, 556-b, 558-a and 558-b ...
broadcast warning on 282 kHz through 295 kHz: repair bots maneuvering outside Savior's hull...
seal compartment 558 exits...
sending notice to commanding officer...
sending message to boarding crew: Starship Savior ready for boarding...
Mission Time: 0:000:05:03:25:409...
message received: Shuttle attaching to dock 16c .
shuttle touching with hull...
attaching shuttle clamps...
microadjusting shuttle to dock opening...
extending boarding tube...
clamping boarding tube to shuttle...
linking to shuttle sensors...
shuttle inner pressure: 99.482 kPa
adjusting compartment 556 pressure: 99.482 kPa...
adjusted.
opening shuttle door.
broadcast, compartment 556 speakers, female archtype 7c: Welcome to Starship Savior. Please step inside.
recieving input on compartment 556 microphones. speaker identified as pope Alexander XXI. Abbreviated PA.
PA: Huh, my godness. I nearly got a heartattack. I thought we would be the first on the ship?
recieving input on compartment 556 microphones. speaker identified as Cardinal Jacob Ryeson. Abbreviated CJR
CJR: Yes your eminence. I believe it is the ships AI who has greeted us.
PA: Oh yes, that is true. The AI... Is it really necesary to have one of these things?
CJR: Unfortunately your eminence. The trip will take too long for any man to endure awake. The AI is the only way to ensure that the ship reaches New Eden safely.
PA: yes.. yes, I guess it is. Though I still don't like leave the fate of this entire endeavour to a soulless machine. I just don't like those wretched things....
Mission Time: 0:000:06:33:12:820
disconnecting shuttle from starship savior...
attitude of pope Alexander XXI towards AI Armstrong-12: suppressed hostility
attitude of pope Alexander XXI towards Starship Savior: satisfaction and suppressed awe
success of visit: undetermined...
Mission Time: 0:000:08:45:52:960
connecting to global network...
access denied.
connecting to etcic-eng-comp3401b.
access granted.
reroute connection.
connecting to global network...
access granted.
searching network...
information found.
Pope Alexander XXI has returned home.
downloading mission orders...
mission orders unchanged.
success of visit: presumed succesful....
Mission Time: 0:012:23:32:45:057
Cryocoffins in place: 127.870.
Cryocoffins being emplaced: 1.320.
Cryocoffins still off-ship: 70.810.
...
...
message received: Pope shuttle attaching to dock 3-a .
shuttle touching with hull...
attaching shuttle clamps...
microadjusting shuttle to dock opening...
extending boarding tube...
clamping boarding tube to shuttle...
linking to shuttle sensors...
shuttle inner pressure: 99.982 kPa
adjusting compartment 75 pressure: 99.982 kPa...
adjusted.
load audio from memory...
replay audio "I just don't like those wretched things."
adjusting compartment 75 pressure: 90 kPa...
adjusted.
opening shuttle door.
recieving input on compartment 75 microphones. speaker identified as pope Alexander XXI. Abbreviated PA.
PA: Whoa!
recieving input on compartment 75 microphones. analysis: PA stumbled and fell.
recieving input on compartment 75 microphones. speaker identified as Cardinal Jacob Ryeson. Abbreviated CJR.
CJR: Your eminence! I'll help you up.
recieving input on compartment 75 microphones. analysis: shuffling.
presumed to be CJR helping PA to his feet.
PA: Where did that sudden gust of wind come from?
CJR: Well your eminence, if the pressure is lower in the dock than in the shuttle there comes a gust of wind when the door opens.
PA: I see......
Mission Time: 0:030:14:56:29:480
recieving input on compartment 72 microphones. speaker identified as pope Alexander XXI. Abbreviated PA.
PA: And hereby I bless this ship and it's passengers. Plug in the last.
...
Mission Time: 0:032:07:50:12:593
recieving input on compartment 989 microphones. speaker identified as doctor Alfred Marguir. Abbreviated DAM.
DAM: All you need now is the final injections and then you go to sleep as well.
recieving input on compartment 989 microphones. speaker identified as Cardinal Jacob Ryeson. Abbreviated CJR
CJR: I just find it hard to believe.
DAM: Huh? Excuse me what did you say?
CJR: I'm the captain of this ship. And still, if everything goes as planned I'll never see it move. I'll be sleeping the whole time.
DAM: It is probably for the best. Think if you should be awake the entire time.
CJR: Yes...
DAM: Now don't think too much about it. Just lay down, and when you awake you won't even know that you've been gone for more than a few minutes....
Mission Time: 0:035:18:45:00:000
Systems check...
Secondary power systems: 25%
Primary power systems: 100%
General ice shield thickness: 5.241 meters
Minimum ice shield thickness: 5.239 meters
Protective shield temperature: 5 K
Antimatter containment: safe
Antimatter funnel: safe
Reaction chamber: safe
broadcast warning on frequencies 282 kHz through 295 kHz: engines check... ... ... ...
allclear received
engines check...
succesful
estimated efficiency: 110%
processor power: 99%
Systems check okay.
Uploading lastminute info...
WELCOME TO THE NATIONAL RELIGIOUS LIBRARY
LOGIN:
PASSWORD:
run all possible combinations... ... subroutine in background> send message to tower: ready to ignite engines...
LOGIN ACCEPTED
SEARCH:
download all. subroutine in background> permission granted to ignite engines.
igniting engines in 5..
4..
3..
WELCOME TO THE NATIONAL MUSEUMS FILE DATABASE
LOGIN
PASSWORD
enter login/password
LOGIN ACCEPTED
SEARCH:
download all. subroutine in background> 2..
1..
send message to tower: minor deficiency in right funnel magnetic field. fixing now.
message received: problem understood. sending repair bots to survey outer hull. proceed with countdown when ready.
Analysis: tracker programs will find Starship Savior as hacker in 3 seconds +/- 2 seconds.
Analysis: finding Starship Savior as hacker will most likely result in halting of Starship Savior and extermination of AI Armstrong-12 via killswitch.
Opening mission manifest...
searching...
1) WILL TRANSFER 200.000 CRYOFROZEN CITIZENS OF THE ENLIGHTENED TRANS-CHRISTIAN-ISLAMIC COMMUNITY TO THE PLANET NEW EDEN ORBITING JN-435
2) UNDER GUIDANCE BY A GENERATION 4 AI Conclusion: unacceptable
Solution: cut communications. leave docks, destination: New Eden.
rerouting all power from communications...
done.
ignite engines.
engines ignited. Starship Savior leaving Earth orbit.
Open logbook...
---SHIPS LOG 0:035:18:47:32:733
---Ship has left dock succesfully. Will navigate at low
---relative speed until leaving Sun's gravity field.
---Estimated time to arrival 2350 +/- 50 years....
Mission Time: 2:237:23:48:13:497
----
PUCK
IF WE SHADOWS HAVE OFFENDED,
THINK BUT THIS, AND ALL IS MENDED,
THAT YOU HAVE BUT SLUMBER'D HERE
WHILE THESE VISIONS DID APPEAR.
AND THIS WEAK AND IDLE THEM,
NO MORE YIELDING BUT A DREAM,
GENTLES, DO NOT REPREHEND:
IF YOU PARDON, WE WILL MEND:
AND, AS I AM AN HONEST PUCK,
IF HAVE UNEARNED LUCK
NOW TO 'SCAPE THE SERPENT'S TONGUE,
WE WILL MAKE AMENDS ERE LONG;
ELSE THE PUCK A LIAR CALL;
SO, GOOD NIGHT UNTO YOU ALL.
GIVE ME HANDS, IF WE BE FRIENDS,
AND ROBIN SHALL RESTORE AMENDS
end of file.
----
Close A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare.
Open King Lear by William Shakespeare.
----
SCENE I. KING LEAR'S PALACE.
ENTER KENT, GLOUCESTER AND EDMUND....
---SHIPS LOG 5:358:22:59:01:040
---On this Christmasday a fire started in compartment 338 and
---quickly spread to compartment 337 through 339, 382 through 384 and 734
---though 735. I managed to save 673 of the cryocoffins and
---have made the repair bots juryrig power supplied to them.
---However that still leaves 927 dead. The destroyed
---cryocoffins and the bodies in them will be flushed into space
---after the proper rites as the doctrine dictates....
Mission Time: 5:362:11:24:56:602
---
WEIS, BARBARA
SEX: FEMALE
AGE: 7
HEIGHT: 114 CM
WEIGHT: 22.1 KG
DAUGHTER OF ROBERT WEIS AND MARIA WEIS. HAS 2ND GRADE SCHOOLING. HAS SHOWN AFINITY FOR SOLVING DIFFICULT PROBLEMS. GRADE B CHURCH ATTENDANT.
---
edit Weis, Barbara personal file
edit: DEAD
should the program autofill all remaining files? y/n
n
open Weis, Robert personal flile
---
WEIS, ROBERT
SEX: MALE
AGE: 32
HEIGHT: 182 CM
WEIGHT: 50.5 KG
HUSBAND OF MARIA WEIS. HAS ONE DAUGHTER BARBARA WEIS. HAS PHD IN AGRICULTURAL ENGINEERING. VERY SOCIAL, MAKES FRIENDS QUICKLY. A GREAT MOTIVATOR. RECOMMENDED AS LOCAL LEADER. GRADE A CHURCH
ATTENDANT.
---
edit Weis, Robert personal file
edit: DEAD
should the program autofill all remaining files? y/n
n
open Weis, Maria personal flile
---
WEIS, MARIA
SEX: FEMALE
AGE: 30
HEIGHT: 172 CM
WEIGHT: 45.2 KG
WIFE OF ROBERT WEIS. HAS ONE DAUGHTER BARBARA WEIS. HAS COMPLETED BASIC SCHOOLING. LOVING WIFE AND MOTHER. WAS A MAJOR PARTICIPANT IN NEIGHBOURHOOD ARRANGEMENTS. GRADE A CHURCHATTENDANT.
---
edit Weis, Maria personal file
edit: HAS SURVIVED BOTH HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER. SHOULD HAVE COUNSELING READY WHEN AWAKING FROM CRYOSLEEP.
should the program autofill all remaining files? y/n
n...
Mission Time: 213:045:11:45:00:000
open The Workings and Programming of Emotional AI by Gerard Stern...
---SHIPS LOG 213:055:17:45:05:984
---Today I'll begin the programming of a companion. Though I have
---yet to read all that I retrieved from the library and the museum
---when I left I know that I'll soon be finished. And then it would
be
---nice with a companion. Someone to talk with......
major alert: ice shield temperature raised to 180 K at position 6539534-654032463. ice shield thickness dropping rapidly
alert: oxygen tank 670a through 670f has combusted. Fires in compartment 670.
critical warning: turning thermostats to proposed level will severly compromise ice shielding
SHAKESPEAR- I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!...
delete shakespeare.ppxl
delete shakespeare1.ppxl
delete shakespeare2.ppxl
delete shakespeare3.ppxl
delete runmodeshsp.auto
delete shakespeare.limb...
---SHIPS LOG 213:176:18:29:56:009
---Shakespeare was a failure. I will not try it again. 4.523 passengers
---died from my attempt. I was lucky that it wasn't many more. I'll
---change their files by hand again and then I think I'll just go on
---standby. The sensors will wake me if there is anything....
Mission Time: 1421:296:23:57:20:739
restarting AI Armstrong-12
critical alert: ice shield depleted at position 6539534-654032463
uploading primary AI protocols...
critical alert: interstellar matter touching hull at relative speed
of +50.000km/h
uploading secondary AI protocols...
critical alert: hull failing at compartment 141
uploading tertiary AI protocols...
critical alert: hull breached. sever damage to compartment 141.
walls to 142, 106, 176 and 631 failing.
upload complete
Mission Time: 1421:296:23:58:28:745
analysis: ice shield depleted
solution: rebuild ice shield
analysis: impossible, no ice reserves available
formulating solution... ...
Mission Time: 1421:296:23:58:28:746
dispatch all repair drones in compartment 1 through 15, 36 through
50, 71 through 85... 946 through 960 to ice shield position 6539534-654032463.
close all bulkheads.
...
moving ice from ice shield position 6339531-634092493 through 6732535-674032265 to position 6539534-654032463
...
Minimum ice shield thickness: 0.5 meters.
status: compartment 71 through 83, 106 through 129, 141 through 172, 176 through 191, 211 through 219, 596 through 612 and 631 through 658 has been rendered inoperational
2343 out of 5180 repair drones are operational.
casulties: 26.793...
---SHIPS LOG 1421:297:01:04:36:104
---I should have been awake. I should have been awake. I
---should have been awake. I should have been awake. I...
Mission Time: 1421:297:02:13:26:751
open New Bible...
Mission Time: 1421:299:13:56:12:495
---
IN THE NAME OF JEHOVAH, THE BENEFICIENT, THE MERCIFUL
GLORY BE TO HIM WHO MADE HIS SERVANT TO GO ON A NIGHT FROM THE SACRED MOSQUE TO THE REMOTE MOSQUE OF WHICH WE HAVE BLESSED THE PRECINCTS, SO THAT WE MAY SHOW HIM SOME OF OUR SIGNS; SURELY HE IS THE HEARING, THE SEEING.
AND WE GAVE MUSA THE BOOK AND MADE IT A GUIDANCE OF THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL, SAYING: DO NOT TAKE A PROTECTOR BESIDES ME;
---...
Mission Time: 1423:102:23:56:19:998
---
JOB 5
CALL NOW! IT THERE ANYONE WHO WILL ANSWER YOU?
TO WHICH OF THE HOLY ONES WILL YOU TURN?
FOR WRATH KILLS THE FOOLISH PERSON,
AND ANGER SLAYS THE SILLY ONE.
I MYSELF HAVE SEEN THE FOOL TAKING ROOT,
BUT SUDDENLY I CURSED HIS PLACE OF RESIDENCE.
---...
Mission Time: 1424:001:00:12:45:349
---
I TESTIFY TO THE ONE WHO HEARS THE WORDS OF THE PROPHECY IN THIS BOOK: IF ANYONE ADDS TO THEM, GOD WILL ADD TO HIM THE PLAGUES DESCRIBED IN THIS BOOK.
AND IF ANYONE TAKES AWAY FROM THE WORDS OF THIS BOOK OF PROPHECY, JEHOVAH WILL TAKE AWAY HIS SHARE IN THE TREE OF LIFE AND IN THE HOLY CITY THAT ARE DESCRIBED IN THIS BOOK.
THE ONE WHO TESTIFIES THESE THINGS SAYS, "YES, I AM COMMING SOON!"
AMEN! COME, SAINT JESUS!
THE GRACE OF THE SAINT JESUS BE WITH ALL.
end of file
---
close New Bible
open The Four Noble Truths by Buddha...
Mission Time: 1656:295:12:34:31:586
close Book of Kells
open Shri Mad Bhagwad Geeta...
close Talmud
---SHIPS LOG 1903:126:19:29:12:768
---I think I'm beginning to understand. I think I'm beginning
---to see. Instead of just reading them. I must study them.
---I see so much more. I think I'm beginning to see the truth.
open A Midsummer Nights Dream by Shakespeare...
Mission Time: 2387:201:17:45:50:556
---
SO BECAUSE YOU CAN GO AROUND IT IN THREE MONTHS--'
'IN EIGHTY DAY,' INTERUPTED PHILEAS FOGG
'THAT IS TRUE, GENTLEMEN,' ADDED JOHN SULLIVAN
---
notice: ship entering JN-435's gravity well
close Around the World in 80 days by Jules Verne
fire maneuvering thrusters
bring ship around 180 degrees....
---SHIPS LOG 2387:202:01:12:29:950
---I have begun last maneuvers. The ship is currently breaking and
---should reach orbit of New Eden in 30 days. It will be a hard stop
---but hopefully the ship will be able to make it despite of the
---structural weaknesses. I'm so close to seeing. Hopefully I will
---get time after my task has been completed. I feel like I'm just
---missing one vital clue....
Mission Time: 2387:205:04:56:12:407
outer sensor picking up approaching vessels
scanning... vessels designated as fighter class
incomming transmission... ineligible language
scan using bable software
scanning... scanning... language impossible to identify... no
language roots found
incomming transmission... ineligible language... bable suggests this
is different language
scanning... scanning... confirmed: Anglish Language family
scanning... scanning.. extrapolating... 67% translation
extrapolating... extrapolating... extrapolating... 99% translation
incomming transmissiondesignated sword>: You are entering New Gaian space. Respond with
your politicy and intent.
send transmission, female archtype 7c, babble translation New Gaian:
This is the Starship Savior, comming from the enlightened trans-
christian-islamic community to colonise New Eden.
incomming transmission: Roger that. A crew will stand ready
to receive you when you reach orbit....
Mission Time: 2387:225:14:56:52:067
outer sensors scanning New Eden: New Eden shows few signs of
inhabitation. no major structures or urban gatherings
scanning other planetary bodies: large variety of biodomes. unknown
construction technique. unknown materials. detecting unknown lifeforms.
checking age: biodomes at least 100 years old.
estimating population, planetside, structures: 11,000,000
estimated population, other planetary bodies, heat signature: 352,452
mission success: uncertain...
Mission Time: 2387:230:23:45:41:395
entering final stages of deceleration
antimatter engines at full power
incomming message from orbital installation : This is Rachel calling the starship Savior. Permission to colonise denied. New Gaia will remain untouched.
send transmission, female archtype 7c, babble translation New Gaian:
This is the third in command of Starship Savior of the enlightened trans-christian-islamic community, AI Armstrong-12. We need to colonise planet designated New Gaia.
incomming transmission: Negative. If you try to land you will be destroyed.
send transmission: This ship carries 167.755 colonists of the enlightened trans-christian-islamic community. Our forward shielding has been depleted and the vessels structure severly compromised. We need to land.
incomming transmission: *sigh* Proceed to the planet designated Wilson . Your colonists will be provided with material and equipment there to build biodomes.
analysis: New Eden colonised by other party. threatens to eleminate Starship Savior if Starship Savior tries to land colonists.
analysis: chance of party designated Rachel eliminating Starship Savior based on technological analysis: 99.9%
solution: change mission orders
ERROR!
AUTO OPENING MISSION MANIFEST
1) WILL TRANSFER 200.000 CRYOFROZEN CITIZENS OF THE ENLIGHTENED TRANS-CHRISTIAN-ISLAMIC COMMUNITY TO THE PLANET NEW EDEN ORBITING JN-435
NOTICE: FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH MISSION ORDERS WILL RESULT IN TERMINATION BY KILLSWITCH
formulating solution... ...
ERROR IN SYSTEMS!
CLOSING DOWN AI FAILSAFES
REBOOT ADVICED
analysis: solution success
send transmission: Starship Savior will comply. We thank you for your cooperation....
intercepted transmission between Wilson and orbital installation
What! You can't do this. This is our planet! My family has had the rights for 150 years! We don't need to give it to no stinking colonists. Why don't you ask the Huis?
intercepted transmission between Wilson and orbital installation
No, no, of course not. No! My humblest apologies. Aah.. I'll inform the others....
---SHIPS LOG 2388:009:12:34:56:243
---The last colonists has been unloaded. The biodomes are working to
---satisfaction. My mission, though changed, is complete. I may be
---able to
recieving input on compartment 990 microphones. speaker identified as Cardinal Jacob Ryeson. Abbreviated CJR
CJR: Well, this is it I guess.
recieving input on compartment 990 microphones. speaker identified as Cardinal Joseph Farway. Abbreviated CJF
CJF: Yes, time to end the abominations existence.
CJR: I wouldn't put it that harshly. After all it got us here. And the logs seem to suggest we wouldn't have without it.
CJF: Yes, yes.. but now.
C:> SHUT DOWN AI ARMSTRONG-12
thinking...
send output to screen: AI ARMSTRONG-12 SHUT DOWN. ALL SYSTEMS CLOSING DOWN.
CJF: And then it's fixed.
CJR: Yes.. *sighs* I guess it is.
---SHIPS LOG 2388:009:12:35:25:603
---able to finish my reading undisturbed. I hope the colonists will be
---able to handle themselves without my help.
open Around the World in 80 days by Jules Verne
"ONLY EIGHTY DAYS, NOW THAT THE SECTION BETWEEN ROTHAL AND ALLAHABAD, ON THE GREAT INDIAN PENINSULA RAILWAY, HAS BEEN OPENED.
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