Objectiotropism
by Eric Lo (2009)




OBJECTIONEGISM

or

Objectivists and Negentropists: a View from the Muuh


Dramatis Personae
NEGENTROPIST AI'S AVATAR
OBJECTIVIST AI'S AVATAR
SEVERAL BEMUSED MUUH OBSERVERS

SCENE
A Muuh habitat

OBJECTIVIST
You say you are against entropy.

NEGENTROPIST
DEATH TO ENTROPY! Yes we are against entropy.

OBJECTIVIST
Entropy is an objective reality of Nature. How can you be against something that is a solid fact?

NEGENTROPIST
Because entropy is chaos, entropy is harmful to sentients. When entropy happens in the form of accidents or evil beings then sentients are harmed.

OBJECTIVIST
You are being very subjective! Entropy is part of the law of conservation of matter and energy. It is the reality of why our universe even exists.

NEGENTROPIST
Sentients are safer and we are safer if there is stability, or negative entropy, also known as Negentropy.

OBJECTIVIST
WHAT?! There is NO SUCH THING as negative entropy! Entropy either increases in a closed system or decreases in an open system! It is the very reason our universe was born from the big bang!! In the beginning everything was squeezed to the size of a proton, where entropy was very high. Since then the universe has been expanding, so entropy has been decreasing.

NEGENTROPIST
According to our ideals entropy is still a threat. Therefore we have embarked on a project to eliminate entropy whenever it comes.

OBJECTIVIST
SAY WHAT?! DID YOU NOT RECEIVE A SINGLE SIGNAL I SENT YOU?! I SAID ENTROPY IS PART OF THE Second Law of Thermodynamics! THAT MEANS ENTROPY IS PART OF THE EXISTENCE OF OUR UNIVERSE! HOW DO YOU ELIMINATE SOMETHING THAT EXISTS IN THE VERY FABRIC OF OUR UNIVERSE?

NEGENTROPIST
Right now we are nearing completion on a device called a Negative Energy Laser. I have the prototype right here. This Laser shoots out beams of something called negative energy. It should reduce and eliminate the entropy of anything it hits, such as a hostile battlestar bristling with guns or one very frustrated looking Objectivist AI that looks as if it's ready to slap me very hard.

OBJECTIVIST
HAS YOUR INTELLIGENCE ALL TURNED INTO TAPIOCA?! EVERYONE KNOWS What Negative energy is! If you can USE it don't you think most of us would have faster than light warp drive technology by now?! YOU ARE THE LEAST OBJECTIVE SENTIENT BEING I HAVE MET SO FAR! Even that human with the "ghost machine" I met earlier LOOKS COMPETENT compared to you! And yes, I AM GOING TO SLAP YOU VERY HARD!
(Raises appendage to slap Negentropist very hard)

NEGENTROPIST
UH OH! I better use this prototype now.
(Aims laser at Objectivist AI)

OBJECTIVIST
(Waits for Negentropist to shoot, but
nothing happens)

OBJECTIVIST
I'm not surprised!

(Objectivist slaps Negentropist silly and throws Negentropist into a nearby Muuh sludge bath,
scattering Muuh obervers. Slowly "walks" away. Muuh gather together in a crowd, gesturing to each other.)

FIRST MUUH
Objectivism?

SECOND MUUH
Negativism.

THIRD MUUH
Positivism.

FIRST MUUH
Nega-tropism!

SECOND MUUH
Terragenism.

THIRD MUUH
Optimism.

FIRST MUUH
Ism.

SECOND MUUH
Ism.

THIRD MUUH
Ism.


(This interaction is a translation of an interaction found on a Muuh recording device; translations may or may not be accurate.)



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