Stand at Carpo

[Rynn]

One good thing to do would be to step back and look at the scenario more broadly. You have the belligerents: the UN and the Colonies. Then ask how they would fight; are warcraft going to launch from Earth straight to the Jovian system? Do the Terran authorities have military/industrial bases elsewhere? Will there be vessels stationed on a moon of Jupiter itself etc.

[Ace009]

If you can, please copy/paste a copy of the story into this thread. That way we can point to specific bits that need tweaking 'on site' rather than having to throw longs lists of issues at you in the abstract.

I think many of these issues can be dealt with fairly easily and with only minor changes - a word removed here, a phrase added there.

Also, can you provide some additional background for the universe you are creating here? You've mentioned a fictional setting that the story is based in a couple of times. Does the story take place in this setting, or is it inspired by the setting, or is the setting still in your head and the story is part of bringing into existence?

A link is good, or a summary of the kind of world this is (or both) would be good to provide backstory and context.

Thanks!

Todd

It does take place in the setting. And remember To The Planets Beyond? Well, this takes place in the still-in-development Extended Edition.

One good thing to do would be to step back and look at the scenario more broadly. You have the belligerents: the UN and the Colonies. Then ask how they would fight; are warcraft going to launch from Earth straight to the Jovian system? Do the Terran authorities have military/industrial bases elsewhere? Will there be vessels stationed on a moon of Jupiter itself etc.

Agreed. And truth be told.....there is a reason Thebe even had a confrontation in the first place and it involves one such military facility. But calm down, after I handle the front on Saturn.....next stop: Thebe!

[Drashner1]

It does take place in the setting. And remember To The Planets Beyond? Well, this takes place in the still-in-development Extended Edition.

Erm. I googled 'To the Planets Beyond' and nothing came up.

What exactly is 'To the Planets Beyond'?

Todd

[Ace009]

It does take place in the setting. And remember To The Planets Beyond? Well, this takes place in the still-in-development Extended Edition.

Erm. I googled 'To the Planets Beyond' and nothing came up.

What exactly is 'To the Planets Beyond'?

Todd

Well, I have it on Google Docs. Surprise! It is right here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_ki2...uLaQg/edit Unfortunately, I have yet to publish it. :/

This is the original edition.

[Drashner1]

Ok, so an alternate history scenario that you'v created and are working to extend at least some centuries into the future. Got it

In that case, if you can copy/paste the story that you presented into the forum, we can work on pointing out specific parts that could use some tweaking.

If you would prefer to leave it in google docs, we can probably work with that, it will just take a bit longer. I'm not hugely familiar with google docs, but see there is apparently an option to add comments to a document, giving a means to provide feedback.

Would you rather we do it that way instead of copy/pasting the story into the forum for review?

Thanks!

Todd

[Ace009]

Ok, so an alternate history scenario that you'v created and are working to extend at least some centuries into the future. Got it

In that case, if you can copy/paste the story that you presented into the forum, we can work on pointing out specific parts that could use some tweaking.

If you would prefer to leave it in google docs, we can probably work with that, it will just take a bit longer. I'm not hugely familiar with google docs, but see there is apparently an option to add comments to a document, giving a means to provide feedback.

Would you rather we do it that way instead of copy/pasting the story into the forum for review?

Thanks!

Todd

I can do that, just not in this post thread. I will start a different thread with the same story copy-pasted.