Ridley Ridley

Nearbaseline human omniphage chompion

Ridley Ridley
Image from Steve Bowers
Ridley has a range of augmentations, including diamondoid teeth and strengthened jaws, which allow him to eat practically any material, and a complex gut system that can extract sustenance from the most unlikely sources.

The undisputed record breaker for omniphagism amongst near-baseline humans currently is Ridley Ridley, of New Old New York, Metropolis, who graduated from eating his own (non active) clone in a single meal in 8651 to eating a robocar in the 8684 Urban Cloudscapes Eating Chompionships.

In competition with his long time rival Adriani Gloyt he proceeded to eat a finely ground light aircraft during 8691, then a vacuum maglev train between 8700 and 8702, while Gloyt matched him item for item but continually requested an additional sweet course (which Ridley always declined because he lacked a sweet tooth).

For their next task they both agreed to attempt the greatest eating challenge ever undertaken by a humanoid entity- the digestion of a small decommissioned amat-fusion hybrid starship each. Two scrap Laylaron vessels were purchased by the sponsors, Eupepsys Antacid, and the two omniphages set to work. From 8725 to 9246 they both were engaged in eating the million tonne ice shields, eating nearly six tonnes of ice each per day - even with augmentation and controlled conditions this was a difficult feat. The Living quarters were next, being consumed by both parties by 9752. Only when the antimatter core was attempted did Gloyt fail to complete her task, in a most spectacular fashion.

The more cautious Ridley was able to absorb the antimatter by eating it in a vacuum in very small doses, finishing in 10310. He is still engaged in digesting the reaction mass, all six million tonnes of it, and hopes to complete the ingestion in 14000.

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Development Notes
Text by Steve Bowers
Initially published on 15 January 2003.